How To Avoid “Conversation Killers” And Develop Deep, Lasting Rapport With Women

From the desk of Derek Rake (

Emailed to me by Rake Letter reader Ernest K. in Los Angeles –

Derek Rake’s Answer…

If you’re like me, you might have grown up hearing the reprimand “think before you speak”. We often forget this crucial childhood lesson as we’re growing up because of two factors:

  1. The self-centered image of ourselves as the end-all of real knowledge, and
  2. The need to speak out, be opinionated and sound intelligent.

In the social scene, particularly when you’re with women, the same tendency to blurt out the first thing in your mind crops up.

A part of you wants to show off (and in the process treats the girl like an idiot), and think that sensitive issues and off-color jokes are the ideal things to talk about.

If you’re not showing off, there’s another reason for this lack of control, and this one’s true for every man who has ever walked the earth.

You see, at one point in your dating life, you might have racked your brain for things to talk about and found a big gaping hole with nothing in it…

…and then a ray of sunshine comes in and illuminates a conversation topic that SEEMS good, until you realize just how tasteless it is.

But what can you do? It’s all you got. When you’re grasping at straws, any topic seems good enough to bring up.

Another possibility is your need to fill the silence. You might have noticed how the girl you’re talking to is on the fence about talking to you and you want to impress her so bad that you just had to come up with a topic that will make you sound intelligent.

What happens next?

She points out that it’s not a good topic to talk about, and instead of being miffed, you get excited that she’s finally talking to you. Now, to get her deeper into a conversation, you start debating with her about the topic.

Soon… you’re sparring words and she’s getting red in the face. In your self-absorbed stupor, you don’t notice that the girl is really vexed with how tasteless the conversation is, and how desperate you are to make her react to you.


Innocent discussions are meant to get the conversation going… not piss off everyone in a table. However, some men don’t get it when the mood turns sour and they keep yapping about a topic that would make most people would feel nauseous.

The thing you gotta remember is this…

Don’t fall into the trap of bad conversation just because you’re caught up with issues like (1) wanting to look smart, (2) wanting to impress and (3) needing approval.

Most people will simply ignore you and let you have your conversation alone. There are women who are more prone to feeling bored, miffed or exasperated with men who simply cannot adapt their conversation style to fit a situation.

I Want You To Understand This…

She wouldn’t want that in a boyfriend, and she definitely wouldn’t see you as a potential boyfriend if you act this way.

What are some of these topics that make the entire room go silent? You know that terrifying moment when your statement hits a nerve and the whole room stares right back at you in total shock?

Here’s a list of Five Conversation Killers and a short rationale of why you should never bring it up when you’re talking to women in a party.

Conversation Killer #1: POLITICS

There are certain things in the world that need fixing, and everyone has an idea of how to fix these things. This means the girl you’re talking to could have another idea of how things should go, and there’s only a 50% chance that she shares your viewpoint.

Politics is a double-edged weapon you don’t want to wield if you want to build instant rapport with a girl. Disagreeing with you over politics is the worst way to start a conversation that you hope will lead to intimacy.

Conversation Killer #2: RELIGION

First of all, the woman might have a relative or a family member who belongs to this or that religion. She herself might be a believer of a teaching or a religious article of faith. You might blurt out an idea that will come across as a slur or an insult, and this is bound to happen if the person you’re talking to is sensitive.

Before you bring up religion in a conversation with a girl, remember that more wars have been waged because of religious principles. In fact, most wars are rooted in one or more spiritual belief… think about it.

Conversation Killer #3: EQUALITY

I can’t emphasize this enough: do not discuss feminism, gender issues or equality among races with a woman if you want to start a friendship with her.

Most people are aware of the dismal issue of inequality, and no matter how many laws are established to protect this or that right, you will always sense an undercurrent of discrimination in any culture and in any country in the world.

Considering this, your girl might be unwilling to discuss these problems with you. So… don’t risk it.

Conversation Killer #4: WORK

Bashing your boss might seem funny… but it’s not. I don’t care if your job sucks and your boss is a jerk who deserves to get back stabbed. It doesn’t even matter if the girl you’re talking to has never heard of your company.

Talking smack about someone else, particularly someone who pays you good money monthly for a job you do, is a total turn off to a woman you want to seduce.

Bear in mind that painting a bad picture of another person tells a lot about your character. She will wonder if you’re just talking about work in a negative way because you’re the bad apple in the company …and you probably deserve to get laid off.

Conversation Killer #5: PERSONAL ISSUES

A clear sign that you’re living inside your head is the way you talk about your problems with total strangers.

Frankly, you just need someone to listen, and the girl knows instantly that she would rather not be that person. Worse, she might think you’re not a good catch because you can’t even handle your problems on your own.

You’re lucky if you chance upon a girl who will gently tell you to ‘seek professional help’, but most girls would rather walk away and tag you as a creep. Be warned!


Given that my schedule has been packed to the brim until at least early next year it’s likely that I cannot coach you in person. This means that I will not be there beside you when you strike a conversation with a woman.

Heck, I may not have an idea of the type of women you may be attracted to, nor do I know your preferences but this is what I know…

You will run into circumstances where you will get stuck – no matter when you are approaching a woman for the first time or are already in a relationship with her. And you will need to be equipped with the right tools to help you to overcome any barriers that you come across in your quest to win her over.

With SonicSeduction™’s “Problem Solver Toolbox” (Module #9), you will get industrial-strength techniques to “bullet-proof” your game from rejection, get out from the “Friend Zone”, kill approach anxiety, and more.

Not only that, SonicSeduction™ is the complete package that comes with hands-on tools to help you become intimate with any woman you desire — right from the first approach, engage, building your value, generating attraction and up to the last step which is a happy ending for you.

Many others who have done this succeeded in getting the women they want attracted to them. You have every chance to do the same by getting a copy of SonicSeduction™ right now. (Read about their success stories here – link comes up in a new window.)

With the techniques inside the system, you will be armed to the teeth with the best seduction tactics that will make women want to talk to you first for a change.

To Get SonicSeduction™, Click Here

And once you have gotten the program, drop me a message inside the DerekRakeHQ platform (lifetime access is included in the package at no extra charge) and I will personally welcome you and give you a customized plan on how to get started. It’s important for me that each and every one of my clients succeed – nobody gets left behind.

Your loyal dating coach,


Derek Rake, SonicSeduction™ Lead Instructor